I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Two words: blizzard sex
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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