It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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