they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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