Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
