gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
