He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
