i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
