if you like me you must not know who I am
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
