I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
