Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
