you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
so much tequila, so little girl.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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