Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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