i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
