but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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