I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
