my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
