i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg I joined a choir last night...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
