im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
