I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Randomize
