Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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