Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
