maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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