If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The best revenge is premature balding
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
