end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Pappa wants mamma naked
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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