she was so not down for the gang bang
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
