I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
