Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
