I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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