Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
