and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
