I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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