I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
