Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
