So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
