Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
