and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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