you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
