Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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