So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
