4 words: hood of his car
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
