I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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