Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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