I bet he comes in French.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
