saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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