This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
