so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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