i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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