2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
