so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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