I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and she was petting her beer can
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
